|
|
Thursday, August 9th, 2007
| |
10:16 pm
|
oh yeah -- AND FUCK AMERICA FOR DROPPING THOSE ATOM BOMBS ON JAPAN 62 YEARS AGO!!!!! (it's nagasaki day)
bullshit. motherfucking bullshit what we did and now we get all up in iran's face for trying to make nuclear energy plants. BULLSHIT!!!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| |
10:05 pm - sickest art ever
|
|
| Friday, July 6th, 2007
| |
12:59 pm
|
I've been feeling barometric pressure more than usual the last few days. Phil left for a 2 month tour of Chicago, Scotland, London, I am beside myself with grief. I can't get a job. The tour I'm trying to book for myself is going nowhere fast, anything I had figured out is falling apart. I'm stressing so much, I can barely keep it together, crying multiple times a day (that's a load of shit in itself).
I have no money, but I do at least have my rent paid for the summer. I feel like I'm wasting my time trying to find a summer job, especially since there AREN'T ANY. Just fall & the future jobs. And I have to come up with $120 in cash to give the sheriff's dept to get my fingerprints done so I can be a substitute teacher in the fall...But I won't get that money back until my first paycheck. I told myself I wouldn't buy food this month, and the first six days have been okay, although I've gone out to eat with friends twice, so that has to stop.
What I would be doing this summer if I had my way: Making merch, quilts, reading, dumpster diving, drinking yerba with friends, writing songs, practicing more, feeling good about myself and my recent graduation accomplishment, living and enjoying it.
Enjoying...life. That sounds like fun. Isn't that what Nate Harris said he'd do after graduation? Enjoy himself. I thought that was wisdom when I heard it. I don't know why I'm putting so much pressure on myself. For the last week and a half I've just been stressing about trying to get shit together in the last minute. I need to stop I think. I hope Adrian won't be too disappointed.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, May 12th, 2007
| |
7:57 pm - update on hunger strike
|
day 4: feeling good. not too hungry. need more juice. hopefully going to trader joes soon.
phil's coming home SOON! half hour maybe. nick and i are going to get him at the aeropuerto.
i'm going to go for the whole week.
this action has consumed me.
partially because i have to change the way i live in order to do it.
but seriously, i do feel good. its just important to get MORE SLEEP than i normally do. or than i have been getting.
ah...saturday. i still need to talk to my arabic professor about all of this business. but i feel like i'll probably be able to keep up with stuff.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 10th, 2007
| |
12:22 am - HUNGER STRIKE
|
nonukeshungerstrike.blogspot.com
it is officially day TWO of my hunger strike. albiet very early in the day. i'm about to get some rest. i feel good, despite the hunger, slight fatigue, slight out-of-sorts feeling in my brain.
when i get up tomorrow, i will have tea or coffee (i justify that by saying it's juice of bean, as maggie pointed out), then water, more water, maybe a naked juice for brunch, then...you guessed it! water. ...for dinner, i might splurge and get some hot water to soak the msg packet from a ramen noodle instant dinner in. mmm...chicken powder. then it's back to water, sleep, and day three.
but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
why i'm fasting:
(1) to prove to myself i can do it. solidarity. community building.
(2) as a political protest against the WAR IN IRAQ and UC INVOLVEMENT WITH NUCLEAR WEAPONS LABS, which of course directly influences the WAR MACHINE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. (at least it's radiant cogs and wheels.) this directly touches my life, and i will not stand by idly as MY UNIVERSITY disgraces MY NAME by continuing in this sick and disgusting arms race left over from the Cold War.
(3) to show the administration of this school and the uc regents that we are not just fucking passive, apathetic hippies. we are ACTIVISTS, and we are willing to take ACTIVE ROLES to change the world we live in. (just like i always am, you know, what with the active production of art and music and blah blah, but now it's getting publicized on the LOCAL NEWS!!! yeah, that guy with the mustache from channel three was on campus today. we're practically celebrities!)
i hear there are somewhere between 30 and 41 hunger strikers uc wide.
if youre reading this and in the santa barbara area, come to ucsb's campus and check out the tent city in front of cheadle hall. we will be there. we will be hungry. we will be PISSED OFF.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, April 5th, 2007
| |
1:15 pm
|
i fucking cant check my email
goddamnit ucsb whats your fucking deal
got lunch with tim
that was fun
tim's a good man
oh and phil came home
i've been feeling kind of crazy or trapped in a dream or
hallucinatory
or something i don't even know
but i had some sort of freak-out-episode yesterday
intense paranoia for NO REASON
maybe some miscommunication and self loathing
but really
why do i doubt phil? why do i doubt myself?
(because i don't trust my own heart and my natural instincts)
(one of which said: wait for the fucking bugs to die you idiot THEN fuck him)
(but i didn't listen to that little angel)
oh oso, its nice to have you back.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, April 1st, 2007
| |
4:40 pm
|
the southwest is unreal, savage; piles of rocks, tumbleweed cyclones on the 10 west, drunk-driving natives, alcoholics on benches with the sorrow of centuries and stolen lands in their eyes, grand canyon (mountain lying down), immense, indescribable, pictures cannot trap its giant gaping rock maw, cheap-ass mint vintage clothing at thrift store, dramatic irony in truth or consequences (yolanda's uncle died in a car crash the day we reached t or c, after we got a $183 speeding ticket upstate, the night previous yolanda having delirious nightmares about death, the rest of the trip contemplative, surreal desert oasis campsite, thousands of stars after moonset, little bits of sand that light themselves on fire clinging to my tent, sleeping bag, marathon driving next day across arizona to joshua tree), waking to the sunrise every morning and packing up camp before the coyotes or park rangers could pick up our scent left in piss puddles behind sagebrush...
i had been bummed because phil hadn't called me back, but today i noticed 2 emails from him, containing everything i needed to hear, and my heart is a flutter, and the mites under my skin are all excited for his return!
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, March 30th, 2007
| |
9:47 pm
|
i think i have scabies. i dont know if i got it from somewhere, or if phil gave it to me, but FUCK THIS. EVERYTIME I SLEEP WITH SOMEONE I GET INFECTED WITH SOMETHING.
i need to start systematically delousing people beforehand i guess.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, March 12th, 2007
| |
4:04 pm - (fiery, serious shit)
|
(after his breathing calmed down
sounded like he might have been asleep)
"phil?"
"yeah"
"i love you."
"i love you, too. firey, serious shit."
(that fire burst through my cappilaries
and my body heat increased 15 per cent)
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, March 8th, 2007
| |
5:09 pm - reds
|
reminder:
reds (211 helena near corner of yananali & state)
@ 9PM
FRIDAY 9 MARCH 2007
LIVE MUSIC
ANARCHISTIC REVELRY
clitorectomy & the mutilators
oso
and a few to break (on tour out of SF)
$5 (to help the touring band get around)
IT'LL BE A REAL GOOD TIME
love & solidarity
becca
c&tm
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, March 3rd, 2007
| |
11:21 am - oh yeah
|
happy bithday qadhaffi's dictator-democracy!!!
 "In his philosophy, people should rule themselves, not select, or elect, the people to rule them. He said he modeled his ideas after the way ancient Athens was governed, with collective meetings and unanimous participation. In the past, Colonel Qaddafi has described his role as a guide, a steady hand leading his people while they learn the duties of his version of self-rule. The word dictator, strongman, or even president is never used. He is called Brother Leader."
doesn't that sound like anarchy? oh, qadhaffi, i love you.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, March 1st, 2007
| |
11:40 pm
|
feeling the tug/pull of expectation and self-fulfilling prophecy and the ever-nagging fear that i'm fucking everything up not giving a fuck about school feeling slightly smothered with affection the need to bob to the surface for air
but always that desire to be near to him even if we're not saying anything and even if his heavy breathing (nose broken twice, reconstructive throat surgery after oral tooth removal mishap) keeps me up at night waking up every morning way to early but thankful so thankful so thankful for everything (and finally meeting someone whose as deep and complex and amazing as i've always felt i could handle and constantly being amazed and overwhelmed and -- i'll even say it -- shocked at how handsome he is ha ha)
but i'm worry when i say love i dont mean it (i think i do now) or that he thinks i dont mean it (i do) and wondering if i'll ever hear it back...ah these things are not important, silly chivalristic pleasantries
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
| |
7:07 pm
|
COME TO MY UPCOMING SHOW
it's gonna be really cool
clitorectomy & the mutilators
watercolor paintings
agent ribbons
BIKO co-op
monday 5 march 2007
7pm FREE (maybe donations or buy the really dope CDS that agent ribbons makes -- each is hand made with ribbons, flowers, gems, etc glued on...very arts and crafts misc)
Hopefully OSO (Phil, Andrew) and I will have a show (feat. Andreas BIRK of DANE-LAND) at reds next friday (march 9th), but as of yet the venue is unconfirmed.
BUY MY CDS. they're worth money and i'll give you a deal if you buy both. (and I mader $1.50 today downtown playing for 2 hours so i feel a little deserving of reparations for my musical endurance)
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, February 15th, 2007
| |
1:22 pm
|
PROJECT FOR A NEW HUMAN CENTURY
stop relying on the bunk ideologies of our grandfathers (dick cheney, jeb bush, steve forbes, francis fukuyama, zalmay khalilzad, i. lewis libby, dan quayle, donald rumsfeld, paul wolfowitz) that have squandered our nations resources: the strength of our economy, our youngest generation, our international reputation, our ability to construct viable foreign policy using DIPLOMACY instead of VIOLENCE and a WAR MACHINE that has made us into a GLOBAL PARIAH!
stop accepting the perverse rhetoric of the media machine controlled by the world’s richest capitalists! demand war coverage that shows the realities of the situation! demand to see the bodies of the soldiers returning from iraq in flag-draped coffins! demand unbiased, not fair and balanced! demand an end to the double-speak we hear every day from the talking heads in washington!
the neo-conservative agenda of increased military spending is not an effective way to boost our economy. wars are not sustainable economic ventures. this policy ignores the key resource needed for a war that cannot be manufactured by BECHTEL, LOCKHEED-MARTIN, BOEING, NOTHROP, RAYTHEON: human lives.
we need a decisive policy REVOLUTION in regards to the middle east. adding 30,000 additional troops in the death throes of an unsuccessful military occupation WILL NOT turn the tide of the war, it will only strengthen the belief of the “insurgency” that we are actively trying to control iraq’s government and the freedom of its peoples, that we are simply in the region for geopolitical purposes, that our only intentions are nefarious. this last-minute attempt to heal the rift between the state department and the US military wont make up for the paltry number of soldiers that were sent to iraq in the first place, a number so low that it undoubtedly kept our troops from establishing and maintaining any type of security or stability in iraq. this incredulous mistake was the fault of the state department and the bush administration.
30,000 soldiers wont make up for the MISGUIDED NOTION that this (or any) war would be an easy victory, that US soldiers would be seen as liberators, that we didn’t need A PLAN for what too after the fall of baghdad and saddam’s capture.
30,000 troops is a SLAP IN THE FACE to every soldier already in iraq, every military official who faught the bush administration tooth and nail to plan a war that might have turned out better, every mother, father, sister, brother who has lost a loved one, and our MUTILATED GENERATION OF VETERANS who served their country under corrupt, money hungry, blood thirsty capitalists who hold no regard for human life, american, iraqi, afghani, lebanese, palestinian, or otherwise. our generation will also suffer the misguided economic policy of the neo-conservative and neo-liberal capitalists, and when we reach retirement age, we will remember the horrible domestic and foreign policies that rotted out our country’s social services and left us out of the idyllic New American Century.
WE NEED A DECISIVE FOREIGN POLICY REVOLUTION!!!
(1) END THE WAR: bring our troops home and let us begin to heal as a nation SENATE: CUT BUSH’S WAR BUDGET NOW!!!
(2) USE DIPLOMACY: bust balls instead of bunkers
(3) TALK TO IRAN: the Cold War is over and we don’t need another one
(4) BUILD REGIONAL ALLIANCES: we have created a humanitarian CATASTROPHE for iraq’s neighbors – instead of funding more destruction we need to focus on relief and use our money WISELY, not squander it on more misdirected military contracts
(5) SERIOUSLY ADDRESS THE ISRAEL-PALESTINE ISSUE: don’t stand by egging on a nuclear power as it fires US-bought weapons at militarized factions in neighboring countries. to think our collusion/lack of opposition to the israel-lebanon war of july 2006 was anything less of a suicide bomb strapped to our reputation in the middle east is a catastrophe in itself. our government HAS to address the ongoing issue of STATE SPONSORED VIOLENCE in the GAZA STRIP that has been going on now for nearly 9 months and is LARGELY IGNORED/MARGINALIZED BY MAINSTREAM MEDIA. just because you don’t hear about it doesn’t mean its not happening. tens of Palestinians are killed in GAZA every day, and these numbers add up quick. ISRAEL IS AN APARTHEID STATE. Israel is our only long term regional ally. if this is not indicative of our completely fucked-up foreign policy in the middle east, nothing is.
STOP WAR
PEACE NOW
DEMOCRACY IN THE CAPITALIST REPUBLIC IS DEAD
THE ONLY VOTE YOU HAVE IS YOUR DOLLAR
STOP BUYING GAS
STOP BUYING CARS
USE LESS ENERGY
BOYCOTT THE GLOBAL ENERGY CARTELL
BOYCOTT THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX
PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS
2007 giant flaming dirigible press – rebecca riley
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, February 13th, 2007
| |
4:31 pm
|
|
| Thursday, February 8th, 2007
| |
12:13 pm - PMA (Positive Mental Attitude)
|
This monday was my valiant return to the world of bike riding and exercise, productivity, kicking ass on papers and exams, and sexy time. And.....today while I was biking to school, I noticed slight discomfort, then what I realized was...well, the same old problem, and after spending 20 minutes crying in the bathroom of one of those new, shiney Engineering buildings on campus, and a trip to K-Mart with Hoshua to get a heating pad, I am back at home, somberly emailing my last midterm assignment to my art professor, and again wallowing in my own self pity.
I'm really fucking angry at myself for not doing everything the doctor had told me to. I guess it's my fault that the cyst came back. But it's fucking hard to take care of your body when you have to keep going to class and be social and you fucking don't WANT to be lying in bed all day for two weeks or whatever the fuck would be necessary to keep things from SWELLING all up in your business.
I'm still stoked about the show tomorrow, though. I'm going to try to get a shitload of CDs made today, be super productive and hope that it'll make me feel a little better about myself. I really feel like that PMA can help turn the day around. And I really want to feel better, holistically, and foreverly.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, February 2nd, 2007
| |
2:45 pm
|
still sore (goddamn hard plastic bus seats) but healing. eagerly awaiting the healing of my vagina so i can get back on the love-train.
molly made a delicious stew for our house last night (and home-made bread!) oh GOD it was delicious. good friends, good food, that good feeling of being home and safe and happy. and tim brought over beers! so that was fun too.
tim offered to record me at his house. 15 tracks, take the best 12, and BAM! full length album. now that i don't work sundays anymore, i can actually take him up on that.
monday: take home midterm due post colonial narrative (3 pgs)
tuesday: arabic test
thursday: art paper due (8-10 pgs)
friday: becca, watercolor paintings, oso accu at MUDDY WATERS
saturday: talent-show and house party at our pad, 599 via el cuadro (everyone's invited -- call for directions and information)
thank you everyone for your support and concern. i really appreciate it, and rest assured that my personal recovery and my family's recovery from my father's termination from his work are imminent. we are a hearty and strong mid-western irish family unit. (i'm hoping my parents will take advantage of all of their free time to come visit me out here. i don't think they'll make it out for next weekend's show/party, but hope that we will be able to shelter them from the bleak ohio winter sometime soon at the via el cuadro.)
trying to think of some sort of date phil and i can go on. something where our combined insanity and weirdness will cause heads and stomachs to turn...
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
| |
12:26 pm - staying inside
|
in the last week...
1. i had a cyst lanced (most painful thing that's happened to me in years)
2. i had to go to the er when the catheter fell out 2 days later (worst part of that was hearing an old mexican woman getting a urethral catheter put in, just screaming "no creo" "por favor" ay ay ay "no senor" over and over and over...and some 20-something Iv-drug dealer talking about how he doesn't care enough about life to live anymore, he tried to kill himself, was surprised at how easily he was able to cut through his skin, he just wants to die, et cetera et cetera...and...let's have more people stare into the gaping maw of my sex! modesty thrown out the window along with any trust in the expertise of the medical community)
3. the i.l.l. book i need to catch up on reading for my exam on the 5th was the WRONG ONE (evidently people who work at libraries need not pass literacy tests in order to be hired)
4. i lost my access card, and since i can't ride my bike (see: cyst) i have to pay $2.50 to go to school every day, something i don't even really want to do; plus, the lack of exercise has a definite depressive effect on me
5. i've been afflicted with paralyzing fear and anxiety that is possibly causing me psycho-somatic flu-like symptoms (fever, achey, tired all the time) or maybe i'm just getting the flu
and the kicker:
#6. (satan's number) my dad got fired from his job.
so, i'm going to take the rest of today off. and...maybe tomorrow. i'll email my professors. whatever, i don't care about shit anymore.
please excuse me if i decide to spend the majority of my time for the next few days at home, spooning with Phil, instead of braving the barbaric banalities of isla vista. please excuse me if my activist fervor is replaced by hermitic and apathetic tendencies.
i have written 2 really awesome songs in the last 2 weeks though. i guess that's about the only upside to horribly traumatic and life-changing experiences.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
| |
6:25 pm
|
guess what I learned today! i have a CYST on a GLAND in my body. it's SWOLLEN. it hurts when i sit down. my doctor (doctor COX, the resident pussy doctor at student health, ironic eh) told me to take hot baths and maybe apply leeches to help relieve the pressure caused by the blockage in my mucus duct.
he also told me i can't have sexy thoughts until the swelling goes down because if i get excited the swelling could INCREASE. i remarked that this will put a cramp in my sex life.
then the doctors laughed.
cruel bastards.
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, January 21st, 2007
| |
3:47 pm
|
i think i'm going to drop the double major
i've decided that i don't give a fuck about school
and as my mom pointed out, it's a lot better than just dropping out
plus i'm already done with the reqs for mid east studies
that means NO 30 page boring ass history paper
and a writing class next quarter instead of two history classes
sounds much more condusive to making art, music, love, and friends
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mooposse's journal
